Funny quotes about life and sayings. Whether it’s cracking jokes, making funny observations about everyday stuff, or sharing witty sayings, comedy has this cool way of making us realize that we’re all going through the same stuff in this wild life. Check out these hilarious quotes about work, love, friends, and family that’ll make you go, “Yep, so true!” ‘Cause, you know… Funny quotes to make you laugh out loud – here is a great collection of witty funny sayings that is sure to put a smile on your face. Whether it’s a clever wordplay, a funny observation about routine things, or timeless witty sayings, comedy has a remarkable ability to remind us that we’re all experiencing similar things in this adventurous life.
These hilarious quotes about work, love, friends, and family will have you laughing and nodding in agreement because they capture the essence of life’s relatable moments! Cast your vote for the best saying and see which phrases other people liked. … I finally realized that people are prisoners of their phones… That’s why it’s called a “Cell” phone.
Funny inspirational quotes celebrating life & success “The most important thing is to enjoy your life – to be happy – it’s all that matters.” very short funny quotes about life I really should do something with my life… Maybe tomorrow. Improve your mood by reading these quotes about all the things life has to offer. – short quotes.
Funny Quotes About Life
Funny motivational quotes of the day – Laughter is the best medicine in life, and these funny inspirational quotes and sayings are guaranteed to brighten your day by putting a smile.
1. “How you treat others, is how you really feel inside.”
2. “One day I was born. Then everything bothered me. And that brings us up to date.”
3. “Only those who care about you can hear you when you’re quiet.”
4. “Being asked “Why are you depressed? Life is beautiful!” is like saying “Why do you have asthma? There is so much air!”
5. “Mirrors don’t lie and lucky for you they don’t laugh.”
6. “1998: “Don’t get in car with strangers” 2008: “Don’t meet people from the internet alone.” 2019: UBER.. Order yourself a stranger from the internet to get into a car with alone.”
7. “I came. I saw. I made it awkward.”
8. “Keep talking I’m diagnosing you”
9. “In the end, we only regret the chances we didn’t take.”
10. “I’m not everyone’s cup of tea but I drink coffee so fuck ‘em”
11. “When something goes wrong in your life, just yell, “Plot twist!” and move on.”
12. “If you see me less, I’m doing more.”
13. “Remember, as far as everyone knows we are a nice, normal family.”
14. “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
15. “Diamonds were once a girl’s best friend – then coffee, leggings, and dry shampoo happened.”
16. “Sometimes I think I’m too picky. Then I watch my dog look for a place to poop”
17. “Characterize people by their actions and you will never be fooled by their words”
18. “I just want to spend the rest of my life laughing.”
19. “I got trust issues because people got lying issues.”
20. “Sometimes our thoughts are backed by so much insecurity, that they create lies we believe.”
21. “Thou shall not try me.”
22. “If someone asks “Are you crazy?” simply reply “yes.” Boom. End of discussion.”
23. “Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you’re drunk.”
24. “I gotta get my life together. This crazy heat made me realize I can’t go to hell.”
25. “A wise man once said nothing.”
26. “Today you are you, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is youer than you.”
27. “Somewhere, somebody out there is thinking of you and the tremendous impact you’ve made on their life. It isn’t me… I think you’re a fucking idiot.”
28. “Sarcasm – the ability to insult idiots without them realizing it.”
29. “On my application form, when it says who to contact in an emergency… I always put, ambulance or police… I mean wtf’s my mother gonna do?”
30. “Don’t be eye candy. Be soul food.”
31. “My smart mouth always gets me in trouble, and if it’s not my mouth, it’s my facial expression.”
32. “You can’t go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending.”
33. “Being both soft and strong is a combination very few have mastered.”
34. “Being popular on facebook is like sitting at the cool table in the cafeteria of a mental hospital.”
35. “The path of inner peace being with four words not my fucking problem”
36. “I refuse to entertain negativity. Life is too big and time is too short to get caught up in empty drama.”
37. “I love when the kids get out of bed for the 20th time and tell me they’re scared. As if my response isn’t going to be the scariest thing they’ll see all night.”
38. “I finally got 8 hours of sleep. Took me four days but whatever.”
39. “I’m a real sweetheart… And a real smartass. Package deal.”
40. “My mind is like my internet browser 19 tabs open 3 of them are frozen & I have no idea where the music is coming from”
41. “What do you do all day? Me: Looks around at mess
Honestly, I’m not sure, but it makes me really, really tired.”
42. “Relationship status: sleeping in my bed diagonally”
43. “I swear I have it all together. I just forgot where I put it.”
44. “I wish people came with a 30 second trailer. So I can see what I’m getting myself into.”
45. “When people ask me how life is going”
46. “What does it mean when holy water sizzles when it hits your skin? Asking for a friend…”
47. “A waffle is just a more considerate pancake. It’s like here, let me hold that syrup for you, in these convenient boxes.”
48. “Funny how drinking 8 cups of water a day seems like it’s impossible but 8 beers and 6 shots in 3 hours go down like a fat kid on a see – saw …”
49. “Keep calm and be crazy, laugh, love and live it up because this is the oldest you’ve been and the youngest you’ll ever be again.”
50. “When someone says “Expect the unexpected” slap them and say “You didn’t expect that, did you?”
51. “Chocolate comes from cocoa, which is a tree. that makes it a plant… so chocolate is a salad.”
52. “If you were able to believe in Santa Claus for like 8 years, you can believe in yourself for like 5 minutes.”
53. “I’m just waiting to see if my coffee chooses to use its powers for good or evil today.”
54. “Never give up, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn.”
55. “Spend your life doing strange things with weird people”
56. “Don’t trip over what is behind you”
57. “Sarchotic: When you’re so sarcastic, people aren’t sure if you’re joking or if you’re just psychotic.”
58. “If you look at what you have in life, you’ll always have more. If you look at what you don’t have in life, you’ll never have enough.”
59. “I’m not old I woke up, I lifted my arms, I moved my knees, I turned my neck…. Everything made the same noise: ‘CrrrrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaaccccK!’ …. I came to a conclusion: I am not old, I am crispy!”
60. “Chocolate comes from cocoa, which is a tree. That makes it a plant… so chocolate is a salad.”
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Funny
The list of funny inspirational life quotes is endless. If you’re enjoying these, give these funny sayings a go too. “Life is short. Drive fast and leave a sexy corpse. That’s one of my mottos.” —Stanley Hudson, The Office
Cool funny quotes 60 amusing sayings and quotations – life is crazy and hilarious, which explains why there’s plenty of funny quotes about life out there. These inspirational quotes and funny sayings “Yesterday is not ours to recover, but tomorrow is ours to win or lose.” Funny positive attitude quotes always give some boost your motivation with fun.
