60 Most Funny Sarcastic Quotes And Funny Sarcasm Sayings

Most Funniest Quotes which are also sarcastic. It’s a funny thing that when a man hasn’t anything on earth to worry about, Here is a collection of some great sarcastic quotes on images.

1. “Life’s too short to do things you hate just to win the approval of others.”

2. “The monsters in my head always knew that I would lose you in the end.”

3. “You look like something I drew with my left hand.”

4. “Apparently putting Alka seltzers in my mouth while getting baptized and pretending I’m possessed by the devil is not funny.”

5. “There’s nothing more frustrating than dealing with a miniature version of yourself with the same shit – ass attitude.”

6. “Why is it so much easier to fall asleep on the couch unintentionally than to fall asleep in bed intentionally?”

7. “You are loved for the little girl you were for the special woman you are and the precious daughter you will always be”

8. “I have lots of hidden talents. The problem is that even I can’t find them.”

9. “You never realize how weird you are until you have a kid, who acts just like you.”

10. “I don’t have a welcome mat at my door because I’m not a liar.”

Sarcastic Funny Quotes on Life & Sarcasm Sayings

11. “You become very dangerous when you learn how to control your feelings.”

12. “I always say “Morning” instead of “Good morning” because if it was a good morning I would still be in my bed and not talking to people.”

13. “Well aren’t you a waste of two billion years of evolution.”

14. “Autocorrect makes me say things I didn’t Nintendo.”

15. “Why did the picture go to jail? Because it was framed!”

16. “The world has flipped upside down. Old folks are sneaking out of the house, and their kids are yelling at them to stay indoors. “It’s for your own good”!”

17. “Weird is a side – effect of awesome.”

18. “Ever look at someone and think, “Why has no one hit you with a shovel yet?””

19. “My silence doesn’t mean I agree with you it means your level of stupidity rendered me speechless.”

20. “Silence is golden. Duct tape is silver.”

Powerful Short Quotes & Sayings About Life | sarcasm quotes about life

21. “Today the devil whispered in my ear, “You’re not strong enough to withstand the storm.” And I whispered, “Six feet back, Lucifer”

22. “I am in competition with no one. I have no desire to play the game of being better than anyone. I am simply trying to be better than the person I was yesterday.”

23. “Nobody tests your inner gangster more than your daughter’s smart mouth.”

24. “I’m not anti-social I’m selectively social There’s a difference.”

25. “At my funeral take the bouquet off my coffin and throw it into the crowd to see who is next”

26. “I’ve reached that age where my brain goes from “You probably shouldn’t say that.” To “What the hell, let’s see what happens.”

27. “When you’re a stay-at-home parent and each day seems to blur into the next. “What day is it? How long have I been here?”

28. “My mom always wonders where I get my attitude from. You homegirl, I get it from you.”

29. “If I say “First of all” run away because I have prepared research, data, charts and will destroy you.”

30. “Hi, I don’t care. Thanks.”

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31. “Oh sweetie, they don’t make Febreze strong enough to deal with your shit.”

32. “I love sleeping it’s like being dead without the commitment”

33. “People keep asking me, “Is COVID-19 really that serious?” Listen to y’all, the casinos and churches are closed. When heaven and hell agree on the same thing, it’s probably pretty serious.”

34. “You never realize how truly sarcastic you are until you have a mini-me who acts the same way.”

35. “It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light.”

36. “Bad decisions make good stories”

37. “I want to grow my own food but I can’t find bacon seeds”

38. “I don’t have the energy to pretend to like you today.”

39. “I don’t know how people can fake whole relationships. I can’t even fake a hello to somebody I don’t like.”

40. “Oh sorry, I didn’t realize you were an expert on how I should live my life. Hold on, let me get a notebook…”

FUNNIEST Sarcastic Quotes to Definitely Make Life humour

41. “If you line up all yours exes in a row you can see the flow chart of your mental illness.”

42. “You’d think I was wanted for murder the way I react when someone knocks on my door..”

43. “I wish everything was as easy as getting fat.”

44. “Just before I die, I am going to swallow a bag of popcorn kernels. My cremation is going to be epic!”

45. “Where there’s a will, there’s a relative.”

46. “Having a daughter is like having a little broke best friend who thinks you’re rich.”

47. “You play the victim so well. I’m surprised you don’t carry around your own body chalk.”

48. “I wish my life had background music so I could understand what the hell is going on.”

49. “My kid is turning out to be exactly like me. well played, karma. Well. Played.”

50. “You are welcome to abimvoicetalk 1st peter 2:16 don’t use your freedom as an excuse to do evil. Glory be to god”

Sarcastic Quotes About Life Lessons Laugh Out Loud

51. “I don’t like morning people or mornings… or people”

52. “No matter how bad it gets, I’m always rich at the dollar store.”

53. “If I ever say “Do you want me to be honest?” say no.”

54. “So in retrospect, in 2015, not a single person got the answer right to “Where do you see yourself 5 years from now?”

55. “Caution: When someone says get a grip, apparently around their neck is not what they meant.”

56. “Sometimes I shock myself with the smart stuff I say & do. Then, there are times when I try to get out of the car with my seat belt on”

57. “After all the stupid things I’ve done in my life if I die because I touched my face I’m gonna be pissed”

58. “I yelled “Cow!” at a woman on a bike and she gave me the finger. Then she plowed her bike straight into the cow. I tried.”

59. “I could eat a can of alphabet soup & shit a better argument than yours.”

60. “I guess those penis enlargement pills are working, you’re twice the dick you were yesterday.”

Best and Funny Sarcastic Quotes | Sarcasm Sayings

61. “If your phone doesn’t ring, it’s me.”

62. “A perfect metaphor for my life would be “Someone trying to stand up in a hammock”

63. “My level of sarcasm has gotten to the point where I don’t even know if I’m kidding or not.”

64. “I’m smiling… That alone should scare you.”

65. “You are not fat. You are just easier to see.”

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The Best Funny Sarcastic Quotes And Sarcasm Sayings. We give you the ultimate list of sarcastic quotes, quoted by some famous people.