Are you looking for some funny Instagram captions? Men who just fling gibberish jokes in the air without thinking about it come up with some of the greatest punchlines on the planet. Instead, take a look at some of the funniest comments made by men and use them for your amusing Instagram captions. You’ve arrived at the ideal location. We’ve compiled a vast list of the funniest Instagram captions and photographs for you to use. We can’t help ourselves; we just want to spice up our lives by posting attractive pictures on Instagram. However, pictures alone are inadequate; it also requires a similarly cute caption to have the desired effect. Take a look at some of the amusing Instagram captions you may use with your images.
Don’t post something cheesy; instead, choose a photo that best captures your friendship and the appropriate Funny Instagram captions to accompany your hilarious memes. While love is life, food is a lifer, in the most literal definition of the word. Eat, pray, and love are the three most important things in life. No way. First, take a photo, then write a caption, and then eat. Stop scrolling and Google searching. We’ve got the best food-related Instagram captions right here! Admit it: you adore your friends and go insane when they’re around. That means there will be a lot of amazing and exciting times to remember.
Here are some cute and funny Instagram captions for selfies:
Cute Captions
- “Mirror: ‘You look cute today.’ Camera: ‘LOL, no.’”
- “The person in the mirror is your only competition.”
- “I’m not lazy, I’m just on energy-saving mode.”
- “I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.”
- “I’m not a morning person, I’m a coffee person.”
- “I’m not a selfie person, I’m a ‘I’m feeling myself’ person.”
Funny Captions
- “Do I really look like a guy who spent the past hour trying to get the right lighting for this selfie? Of course not!”
- “I hate captions that don’t belong to my selfie.”
- “Today, I will be as useless as the ‘g’ in lasagna.”
- “I’m not arguing, I’m just passionately expressing my point of view while completely dismissing yours.”
- “I’m not lazy, I’m just on a permanent vacation from adulting.”
- “I’m not a morning person, I’m a ‘hit the snooze button’ person.”
Sassy Captions
- “You know that feeling when the really cute girl walks by in the mall, and your smile, try to be smooth, and take a drink of tea, and run the straw up your nose?”
- “Don’t be ashamed of who you are. That’s your parents’ job.”
- “I don’t dress up to impress others. I dress up to stare at my reflection as I walk by mirrors and windows!”
- “Mirror mirror on the wall, I’ll always get up after I fall, and whether I run, walk or crawl, I’ll set my goals and achieve them all.”
- “We are all mirrors, and what we see in others reflects what we see inside ourselves.”
Witty Captions
- “I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right. There’s a difference.”
- “I’m not lazy, I’m just on a break from being productive.”
- “I’m not a morning person, I’m a ‘coffee and a nap’ person.”
- “I’m not arguing, I’m just passionately expressing my point of view while completely dismissing yours. It’s a skill.”
- “I’m not lazy, I’m just on a permanent vacation from adulting. It’s a lifestyle choice.”
Quirky Captions
- “If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, maybe it really is a duck. Either accept it for what it is or let it go.”
- “My demons hide in my loudness. So if you don’t want the evil to come out, don’t shut me down in a very sarcastic manner.”
- “You cannot control whom your heart falls in love with, but it’s funny because you can decide whom to date.”
- “I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right. There’s a difference. (Just kidding, I’m arguing.)”
- “I’m not lazy, I’m just on a break from being productive. It’s a thing.”
I hope these captions inspire you to create some amazing selfies and captions!
140 Cute Funny Instagram caption for selfies
♥ “I’d like to be a caterpillar. Eat a lot of food. Take a nap for a bit. Beautiful, wake up.”
♥ “If you throw an apple hard enough, it will keep everyone away.”
♥ “I once attempted to be normal. Two of the most horrible minutes of my life!”
♥ “Never, ever, ever let a man treat you like Beyonce.”
♥ “Life is a finite resource. While you still have teeth, smile.”
♥ “I have a feeling we’re no longer in Kansas, Toto.”
♥ “Maintain a safe distance between you and your friends, but a safe distance between you and your adversaries.”
♥ “We have a communication breakdown here.”
♥ “Something in my life seems to be missing. Like a couple of million dollars.”
♥ “Can we just fast forward to the portion of my life when I tour the world?”
♥ “Keeping a vacation waiting is impolite.”
♥ “I wish my health insurance supported travel therapy.”
♥ “There should be condolence cards available for those who have to return to work after their vacation.”
♥ “You can’t buy a company, but you can purchase an airline ticket, which is essentially the same thing.”
♥ “Don’t overpack. As a result, suitcases now have wheels.”
♥ “If you’re a cheese, your age is irrelevant.”
♥ “Rumors are something I enjoy. I learned a lot about myself that I didn’t know before.”
♥ “I’m of an age where I should know better. But I’m still young enough to do it.”
♥ “I live and learn, but I am patiently waiting for my turn. I’m always on the move, and I’m trying to lose weight.”
♥ “Sometimes I look at folks and think. Is that true? That was the winning sperm.”
♥ “I’m a math instructor. I and you are equivalent to one plus two.”
♥ “I’m so proud of my six-pack that I’ve added a layer of fat to protect it.”
♥ “Twice a year, I require a six-month vacation.”
♥ “Why would I trust a product that four out of five dentists recommend if they make their money off bad teeth?”
♥ “I’m confident that my perfect soul partner exists somewhere in the Universe. However, finding her is far more difficult than simply remaining at home and ordering another pizza.”
♥ “I’m quite aware that the voices in my head aren’t genuine. But now and then, their ideas are simply fantastic!”
♥ “Before Instagram, I was a fan of memes.”
♥ “I understand you are a sensitive individual but don’t worry; I am sensitive to your sensitivity as well.”
♥ “I like hashtags because they remind me of waffles.”
♥ “That embarrassing time when you can’t do it because you’re wearing Nikes.”
♥ “My new single was just released! It’s me, by the way. I’m not married.”
♥ “Instead of being normal, be a barbarian.”
♥ “I had a hokey pokey addiction, but I was able to overcome it.”
♥ “I know I’m a handful, but you have two hands for a reason.”
♥ “Every 60 seconds, a b-tch posts a motivational message that she doesn’t follow.”
♥ “Never allow yourself to be treated like a yellow Starburst. You have the appearance of a pink starburst.”
♥ “What if the princess desires to remain with Bowser, but Mario continues to kidnap her?”
♥ “Please invite me to play Candy Crush again.”
♥ “I’m not sure how else to express it. You’ll never be able to sleep again.”
♥ “I enjoy sleeping because it is like having breakfast in a time machine.”
♥ “Because she is aware of my crush, the teacher assigns me a seat next to her.”
♥ “I’m a silent type with a lot of power.”
♥ “Make a list of the usual suspects.”
♥ “I’m furious, and I’m not going to take it any longer!”
♥ “We have a problem in Houston.”
♥ “I’ll go grab you, as well as your cute little dog!”
♥ “The word “hello” drew me in.”
♥ “In baseball, there are no tears!”
♥ “The reality is too much for you!”
♥ “Tell them to go out there and win one for the Gipper with everything they’ve got.”
♥ “Life is a banquet, and the majority of the unfortunates are starving to death!”
♥ “I am the world’s ruler!”
♥ “Mama used to say that life was a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re going to get until it’s too late.”
♥ “Down syndrome is a condition in which a person feels down.”
♥ “Please don’t abandon me this weekend.”
♥ “Never cry for someone who doesn’t understand the worth of your tears.”
♥ “Don’t try to fool me. You can’t win that game.”
♥ “I was reunited with my Ex… Box 360.”
♥ “Volleyball is essentially a more furious version of the game Don’t Let the Ball Touch the Floor.”
♥ “You must abandon your lover.”
♥ “Life is measured by the moments that take your breath away, not by the number of breaths you take.”
♥ “I despise taking flying lessons.”
♥ “A daily selfie keeps pals at bay.”
♥ “OMG, that’s so adorable.”
♥ “For my graduation, I’d want to thank Red Bull, Google, Vodka, and Wikipedia.”
♥ “They advised me to get an iPhone. They claimed it came with a map.”
♥ “I adore you to death.”
♥ “Things are not as simple as letting it go.”
♥ “Boys are like purses: they’re cute, but they’re full of garbage, and they can always be replaced.”
♥ “Is Google a girl or a boy? It’s clearly a girl because it won’t let you finish your sentence without offering you alternative options.”
♥ “Is it okay if I film you while you’re sleeping? You’re really adorable.”
♥ “You are not attractive because you despise me.”
♥ “I hung out with a group of geeks.”
♥ “What did I just do?”
♥ “Do you require an ark? Noah is my name.”
♥ “I was on my way to school when”
♥ “Can I have you because you’re so cute?”
♥ “I don’t drink beer all the time, but when I do, call me Hercules.”
♥ “Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes”
♥ “Dear vegetarians, why are you eating animals’ food if you’re attempting to help them?”
♥ “When you discover it wasn’t a fart, that’s when you know it wasn’t a fart.”
♥ “Some days get off to a better start than others.”
♥ “Live the life you want, not the one you think you should.”
♥ “True, life is brief; it is the quickest thing you can do.”
♥ “I destroyed his heart and then inquired if he was all right.”
♥ “To be honest, I’m crazy for you. Everyone can see it except you.”
♥ “Celery is 95% water, and it’s definitely not pizza.”
♥ “They told me to make milkshakes. They stated the boys would come to your yard.”
♥ “Meanwhile, I’m shopping at Walmart.”
♥ “Sometimes someone enters your life completely unexpectedly, catches you off guard, and completely transforms your life.”
♥ “I adore the fact that you are my person and I am yours, and that we shall open any door together. A.R. is a writer who lives in the United States. Asher is a young man who has a”
♥ “My prince isn’t riding a white horse… he’s clearly riding a turtle somewhere, befuddled.”
♥ “I spend a lot of time hunting for solutions while holding the refrigerator door open. There’s also food.”
♥ “How do I feel when I don’t have any coffee? Despair.”
♥ “When one person exclaims to another, “What!” a friendship is formed. Are you one of them? I believed I was the only one who felt this way.”
♥ “My best buddy is procrastination.”
♥ “My professor reminds me a lot of Oprah Winfrey. She hurls schoolwork at us as if it were a vehicle.”
♥ “With Game of Thrones references, college lectures would be a lot more fun.”
♥ “Live in the moment, plan for the future, and have a good time tonight.”
♥ “I’m going to drink it till I get a kick out of it, then I’m going to smoke it till it’s finished.”
♥ “My original is still in my possession.”
♥ “My justification is that I’m still young.”
♥ “I live for the nights I’ll never forget the people I’ll never forget.”
♥ “I’m only concerned about myself; I couldn’t care less about you.”
♥ “Except for us, no one actually likes us.”
♥ “They didn’t make me who I am; they merely happened upon me in this state.”
♥ “You only have one life!”
♥ “We celebrate my success by drinking every night.”
♥ “We began at the bottom and have now arrived at the top.”
♥ “The last name is the best, the first name is the best!”
♥ “On that real sh * t, the entire squad.”
♥ “I’m behaving badly.”
♥ “Instead of worrying about your followers, you should focus on increasing your revenue.”
♥ “I stopped giving a f * * k and stopped being afraid of the repercussions.”
♥ “I never go after a million things.”
♥ “My second favorite F-word is’ Friday! ‘”
♥ “I smile because I’m completely oblivious to what’s going on.”
♥ “Everyone makes three blunders. Instagram, Facebook, and GF are just a few of the social media platforms that I use.”
♥ “As long as there are no girls in the frame, boys will be boys.”
♥ “An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but forget about the fruit if the doctor is cute.”
♥ “I’m a smart person who makes foolish decisions.”
♥ “Alcohol confers a variety of superhuman abilities!”
♥ “Every successful man has a woman by his side. Another lady is frequently at the root of a successful man’s downfall.”
♥ “Greetings, God! Your shoddy software has a flaw. Monday is the name of the day. Please correct it.”
♥ “My phone is set to airplane mode, but it isn’t flying!”
♥ “A blind man enters a bar. There’s also a chair. There’s also a table.”
♥ “I suppose you are Vitamin Me deficient!”
♥ “My parents make me envious. I’ll never be able to raise a child as cool as theirs.”
♥ “I’m not going to try to fit in. I was born to be noticed.”
♥ “There should be an ‘Enemy List’ on Instagram.”
♥ “I’m not witty; I’m simply mean, and people think I’m amusing!”
♥ “Before anyone else to love you, you must first love yourself.”
♥ “Fuck your viewpoint, I’m different.”
♥ “Aye, right now I’m just feeling my vibes, feeling myself.”
♥ “It was Aliens! I’m not claiming it was aliens, but it was Aliens!”
♥ “Remember that everyone is as unique as you are.”
♥ “I’m not weird; I’m one of a kind.”
♥ “Every day, we are each responsible for the beauty we carry with us.”
♥ “Those who know me well know that I’m usually charming, pleasant, and well-mannered.”
♥ “Why would I trust a product that four out of five dentists recommend if they make their money off bad teeth?”
♥ “I’m here to have a nice time, not to stay for a long period.”
♥ “I don’t see another team attempting to cross us.”
♥ “Right now, I’m awake, and you’re crap.”
♥ “There are no new acquaintances.”
♥ “What are your plans for the future? I had better things to say.”
♥ “Know who you are and what you’re worth.”
♥ “Make the best of tonight and worry about the rest later.”
♥ “I’m on top of the world, and I consider myself fortunate.”
♥ “I don’t think heaven could be any better than this.”
♥ “I’d rather be a student at Hogwarts.”
♥ “I’d like someone to look at me in the same manner that my dog looks at food.”
♥ “My dog is furious with me because they detected the scent of another dog on my clothing.”
♥ “Have you mentioned pancakes? My bed has a mystical quality to it. It reminds me of all the things I haven’t finished as soon as I get into it.”
♥ “It’s advised that you don’t do this at home. So I gave it a shot at my friend’s house.”
♥ “My second favorite F word is Friday.”
♥ “In math class, I feel like I’m watching a foreign language film with no subtitles.”
♥ “When things don’t seem to be going your way, take a left.”
♥ “I got pulled over by an officer this week. Papers, he said. Scissors and I are the winners, I said. I doubt the officer found it amusing.”
♥ “Is Google a girl or a boy? It’s clearly a girl because it won’t let you finish your sentence without offering you alternative options.”
♥ “My mother – Why is everything on the floor in your room? Me – Mom, do you have any idea what gravity is?”
♥ “I don’t think in terms of boxes. I’m not someone who thinks outside the box. What the duck – I have no idea what box everyone is referring to.”
♥ “One more cookie, please. Just a minute more. Lies I Tell Myself is the only remaining episode.”
♥ “I returned with my Ex… Xbox 360.”
♥ “What if I told you that you could eat and not share it on Instagram?”
♥ “So you’re saying I’ve got a chance?”
♥ “All that matters is that you love your life — that you are happy.”
♥ “Take advantage of every opportunity you are given in life because some things only happen once.”
♥ “I’ve never thought of myself as sexy. I feel better if people think I’m cute.”
♥ “My engine is revved up by female drivers.”
♥ “I enjoy foodies.”
♥ “At the very least, this balloon appeals to me!”
♥ “I’m going to have to destroy you with hugs and kisses.”
♥ “Stop searching for happiness in the same area where you previously found it.”
♥ “I awoke in this manner.”
♥ “If only we could go back in time…”
♥ “Keep smiling because life is a great thing with plenty of reasons to be happy.”
♥ “Beauty is the sword of power, and a smile is the sword of beauty.”
♥ “My autobiography is depicted in this image.”
♥ “Today is the last day of class!”
♥ “Don’t take yourself too seriously in life. Nobody survives the ordeal.”
♥ “Like a bandit, chilling…”
♥ “It’s never too late to quote humorous movie lines. Let’s select a few of them and turn them into hilarious Instagram captions for our pictures.”
♥ “Make my day, please.”
♥ “Get your filthy hands off of me, you filthy animal.”
♥ “Fasten your seatbelts, because this is going to be a rocky ride!”
♥ “Are you speaking to me?”
♥ “Show me your cash!”
♥ “We have a problem in Houston.”
♥ “I’ve always relied on the generosity of strangers.”
